Still, she begins to imagine better possibilities for herself if she can turn her life around. Nicole joins an older crowd with gang connections skips school tries alcohol, cigarettes, and dope and begins-at 14-a sexual relationship because she "wouldn't want to lose Ray." When her father finally reappears, she moves in with him to escape her mother's belated supervision her relationships with her group disintegrate, and she tires of her dead-end job and of doing housework for her father, who's apparently still involved with drugs. Missing New Hampshire, unhappy in Queens, she resents her mother's new partner, who eventually becomes her fianc‚. After her parents separate because of her father's involvement with drugs, Nicole recounts her own drifting journey of self-discovery.
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